


The Bird Who Would Never Sing of Freedom

by Helie_Bloom



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Faith, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helie_Bloom/pseuds/Helie_Bloom
Summary: Punishment in Asgard had always been harsh from the occasional flogging to the oh so entertaining beheading. Just seeing a prisoner beg for mercy made Loki's stomach churn let alone seeing the life in their eyes vanish forever. He now finally gets to experience their pain when he himself is put before the throne of the Allfather for a trial he already knew would end in great sorrow. He had mentally prepared himself for the punishment given to him, ready to face it with a mischievous smirk and sarcastic remark, but that all changes when Odin punishes not only him, but his wife and two sons for his crimes as well. Now a slave, Loki will have to remain strong if not for himself, then for his family as they endure the tortures that his crimes have brought them.





	1. Shackles and Silent Cries

_**“Come away, o human child** _   
_**To the waters and the wild** _   
_**With a faery, hand in hand,** _   
_**For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand,”** _   
_**-W.B.Yeats** _

All his life, Loki never understood why he was always basking in Thor’s shadow. He had become one of the greatest sorcerers in all nine realms, working in his own blood, sweat, and tears to earn the approval and acknowledgment of his father. He had dreamed of the day where his hard work would be noticed and praised, yet that blessed day never came. He would always be viewed as inferior compared to Thor, his magical talent nothing compared to his brother's astonishing feats. Instead of being praised for his actions, Loki had always been belittled by citizens of Asgard, viewed as a weakling because he had chosen to learn magic instead of becoming physically strong like his brother. Of course, Loki was talented with a weapon of choice, but nothing he did could compare to what his brother had done. He never really got "I love you"s from his father, only being chastised about the decisions he had made and how Thor would never attempt to do the things he did. When years had passed and Loki became deprived of affection from his father, he had stopped searching for his approval...at least he thought he did. He began to master the art of mischief, pulling tricks on servants and even going as far as cutting Sif's hair, searching for some acknowledgment from his father. He had been handed punishment after punishment, his mind becoming more and more immune to the discipline that his father gave. He became isolated, not caring of the adventures that Thor had gone on with his friends, not listening to the fascinating tales that they had tried to tell him of the action they had seen that day. He was an outcast, lonely and left to his own thoughts.  
That is what brought him to where he was now, bound in chains, standing before the man that he had once called father to be given a taste of justice. He knew the court would never rule in his favor, the only person who had tried to justify his actions being his beautiful wife Sigyn and even she knew that it was pointless. His own children were present at the trial, something that was against his wishes. Narvi and Vali always looked up to him, taking his word as gospel and believing that he was a hero when in reality he was more of a villain in people's eyes. They thought their father was indestructible and ever-powerful, someone that they could always count on to save the day. How do they feel now, seeing their father chained up like an animal and on his knees in front of the Allfather? Only the Lord knows what his boys must be thinking now, seeing their father so powerless and weak in front of Asgard's king. Thor had held his nephews close, trying to help keep them at ease as they watched their father be continuously mocked by the court and by some of his friends. Odin looked his youngest son in the eye, seeing nothing but mischief and hatred.  
"Loki Laufeyson, are there any last words that you want to tell the court before your punishment is bestowed upon you?" He asked, noticing Frigga had begun to shake with anxiety as her son opened his mouth to speak.  
"Caging the bird will not stop its songs. My sentence will not stop me from entering your thoughts, plaguing your dreams. My goal has already been accomplished." He said firmly, looking Odin dead in the eyes, Frigga holding her breath as Sigyn winced at her husband's words. Thor held his nephews' hands, Sigyn ready to cover their ears if necessary.  
"On the behalf of the people of Asgard, I sentence not only you, Loki Laufeyson but your wife and children as well to lives of slavery. Your powers will be taken from you and your world will be full of more weeping and mourning than you can understand." He said in a firm voice, Frigga letting out a cry of grief for her son's demise, Sigyn's eyes widening as Thor held his nephews a little tighter, knowing he was powerless to stop them from paying for the actions of their father. Loki's eyes had widened, a shaky breath escaping him as his gaze met the terrified hazel eyes of Sigyn. He began to shake, looking at the Allfather with horror in his eyes, trying to muster up words to say.  
"Allfather, I beg of you! Have me beheaded, poisoned, flogged, stoned, but whatever you do, please have mercy on my wife and children!" He begged, tears rolling down his face as he tried to keep himself composed, though his efforts were in vain.  
"There is no pain greater than seeing the ones you love suffering because of your transgressions. Death would be too merciful upon you, Loki. You need to experience the pain of seeing those you care for suffering much like the people on Midgard who you took loved ones from. You and your family are sentenced to slavery and that is final. Let it be known in all of Asgard and all nine realms!" He replied, Loki's body feeling as if it were being burned from the inside out as he felt his power leave him. Sorcerers would be screaming and howling if their power was taken, but Loki merely gritted his teeth and wept for the sake of his children. His boys would never have the freedoms that their parents were blessed with as children. They would be under the control of others and not have the ability to discover the beauty that life had gifted them. They would look at the world through a veil, not seeing everything that should have been open to them years ago. They couldn't learn magic, play the day away, and make memories that would last for centuries to come. They wouldn't be able to grow up in the world that their parents had longed to give them since the day that they were born. As people flooded out of the throne room, Sigyn ran to her husband, hugging him tightly as she wept with him over the suffering their children were about to endure.  
"Loki, this is not your fault, understand? Yes, your actions were not right, but I want you to know that you should not blame yourself for the fate of our sons." She said, gripping his shoulders as he looked at her with glassy emerald eyes. He had no idea what to say to her, for he was shocked that she could even look him in the eye after finding out that her children would be slaves for their whole lives.  
"We're going to get through this, do you understand me?" She asked, Loki managing a small, almost timid nod. He was trying his best to believe in his wife's beautiful lie, but nothing could comfort him as he faced such a terrible and painful truth. Blood was going to be spilled, one way or another.


	2. A Sacred Trust Has Been Given

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki and his family are escorted into the dungeons the night before they are officially deemed as slaves, Loki reflects on the beauty that his sons show to the world and how they might fare now that their freedom has been taken from them. Sigyn has also been hiding something from Loki and finally reveals a secret that could have both a good and bad effect on the family.

The day had passed away and from it rose the darkness of the night. Loki and his family had been chained and escorted to the dungeons, Sigyn trying to provide any sort of comfort to her sons. Loki held Vali close to his chest, the young boy's eyes closed as he entered the luxurious realm of dreamland that Loki longed to enter himself. Narvi, on the other hand, was as animated as ever. He was definitely the more energetic one out of the two twins, for he was the one that mirrored Thor in so many ways that Loki had thought it to be creepy. He enjoyed hunting with Thor and was always intoxicated by his uncle's stories of his many feats, especially if they revolved around dragons. He was the one that would always be outside, living in his own land of make-belief that he dragged his brother into every now and then. It broke Loki's heart knowing that his son would never be able to enter that world again as a free man and it was all because of his horrid acts. Vali was like a carbon copy of his father, reading constantly and taking in knowledge like how a sponge would soak up water. He had taken an interest in magic like his brother, though he wanted to become a sorcerer like his father contrary to Narvi who wanted to learn it to enhance his skills in battle. While Narvi wanted to taste action on the battlefield, Vali was surprisingly a pacifist, not finding any form of a resolution within violence. He cringed whenever anyone mentioned a war or even something trivial like a child punching another in the face. He always tried to keep his brother from getting a black eye and did what he could to remain peaceful and compassionate to others. Loki and Sigyn both prayed that slavery would not crush their son's pacifist spirit. It was one of the only pure things that could be found in Vali, for he had been the one that was damaged the most when his father left them. He would constantly cry out for his father, wanting to merely hear his voice to provide him comfort. Was it really worth it to have him back? Are his sons still idolizing him despite what he has done to their futures? Loki tried his best to push these thoughts to the back of his mind, their safety and getting through tonight being the only thing that mattered to him right now.  
Narvi was sitting on his mother's lap, tugging at the overly large and poorly sewn shirt that he had been given to match slave attire.  
"Mother, this shirt is so itchy! May I please take it off?" He begged, pulling at the shirt as if it were made of hot coals. Sigyn sighed, running her hand through her son's strawberry blonde hair that matched her own.  
"I'm sorry, my son. You cannot take it off, though I understand what you mean. I'm quite surprised that your father and brother are tolerating such poor material on their skin." She said, chuckling as Loki merely shook his head, trying to suppress his laughter. Narvi buried his face into his mother's chest, holding onto her as if she were his last source of life. He was shaking a bit, his teeth chattering as his eyes darted around the cell that he shared with his family.  
"It's so cold down here." He continued, Loki gently shifting Vali's sleeping position so that way he only took up half of the room in his father's embrace. He looked up at Narvi, a loving smile forming on his face as he gestured for his son to come to him. Narvi got up and quickly ran to his father who gently placed him right next to his younger brother, a small smile forming on his face as he felt his brother's warmth. His eyelids had begun to droop lower and lower, his body becoming relaxed as his breathing slowed. Loki looked away for a moment but looked back to see his son fast asleep, his head leaning against his younger brother's shoulder. Sigyn smiled at the sight, not really remembering the last time she had seen her children fast asleep on her husband's lap.  
"You know they will never stop viewing you as their hero, right?" She asked, catching her husband's attention as his emerald eyes captured her hazel ones. She smiled, even more, laying her hands on top of his, giggling when she noticed how red his face had become. It was just like the first time they met, Loki a lad who had tried to fill the void in his heart with mischief and lies while Sigyn was trying to find a man who would view her as an equal. When they had locked eyes for the first time, Loki turned as red as his brother's cape. Sigyn smiled at the small memory, planting a kiss on her husband's cheek.  
"You are their father, no matter what you do, they will always love you and will never stop. They will always view you as their hero and will rely on you to protect them. I want you to remember that." She said, breaking eye contact with him as she took in a shaky breath. Loki noticed the discomfort present on his wife's face, gently cupping her cheek with his hand, noticing the anxiety that had now emerged in her eyes.  
"Sigyn my darling, what's the matter?" He asked, Sigyn taking in a shaky breath as she began to tear up. Now Loki was extremely alarmed, panic coursing through his body as he opened his mouth to ask her again only for Sigyn to answer before he could speak.  
"Loki, I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know how to. Now I not only fear for my life but another." She said, Loki's eyes widening as his mind concluded different possibilities at once.  
"Sigyn, what are you trying to say-"  
"I'm expecting, Loki! I'm expecting and given our conditions now, I don't know if both me and the baby are going to make it." She blurted out, a sharp gasp escaping the god of mischief in front of her. Loki took her hands in his, forcing her to look him in the eyes. He had so much to say but was not able to collect himself enough to say it all.  
"Sigyn, I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to protect you and our child. I will go through endless nights of torture if that is what it takes for you and our baby to be safe. Do you understand me?" He vowed, a small nod being all that Sigyn could manage. That night, Loki had vowed to protect his wife and his unborn baby, but fate had other plans in store for him whether they be good or bad. That night, Loki prayed to whatever true deity was out there that he would live to see the birth of his youngest son or daughter safe and sound.


	3. The Sunrise Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, Loki and his family begin their first week under the sentence given to the by Odin. Loki's worry for Sigyn's health increases when he is told that they were going to be separated the everyday until nighttime. Each parent is able to take one of their sons with them and their child will learn how to do their parent's line of work. Loki just prays that they will get to see each other at the end of every day when he is given terrible news.

Loki couldn't sleep at all that night, so he had just turned into not only a pillow for his sons but for his wife as well. He almost jumped from his uncomfortable sitting position when he heard someone banging on the cell's barrier. He looked up quickly to see a man in clothing that only the nobles could afford. Loki almost felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach when he saw that this man had a whip in his hand. He hit the barrier again, Loki gently shaking his wife awake before doing the same to his children. The man turned to a guard and whispered something in his ear, the guard taking down the barrier to let the man into their cell before it closed once again. Loki's grip on Narvi and Vali tightened as his beryl eyes never left the stormy grey ones of the man who would presumably decide their futures. He looked at them, grunting before tossing the whip from one hand to another, Sigyn trying to put on a brave face despite the immense fear that Loki knew she was experiencing.  
"My name is Calder Einarson. I am the head of the slave patrol here in the Allfather's palace. You will learn how to feel no sympathy for others nor will you ever get sympathy in return from anyone. If we see you stepping out of line, you'll be whipped publicly. Each one of you will take one of your sons to your workplace where they will learn the line of work you have been assigned and will eventually have a different schedule than you once they are of a certain age. Once given your assignment, there will be no complaints, understood?" He spat, still tossing the whip back and forth as Loki managed a small nod, noticing Vali had buried his face in his father's chest. Calder had seemed to notice this too, for he knelt in front of Loki where Vali was sitting, holding the whip in one hand.  
"HEY! LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU BEFORE I WHIP YOUR EYES OUT!" He shouted, Vali's horrified hazel eyes meeting Calder's gaze sharply as a startled whimper left his lips. Loki held his youngest tightly as Narvi crawled into his mother's arms, trying to get farther and farther away from the man who had just thrown a deadly threat to his brother.  
"Laufeyson, you're heading to carpentry. Iswaldisdottir, you're heading to cooking. Take your children and get out of my sight." He spat, Loki picking up Vali who was now sobbing silently, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Sigyn watched on, a startled Narvi in her arms as Calder suddenly grabbed her arm, dragging her out to another man who was going to take her to where she was destined to go. Sigyn held back tears as she left, laying a kiss on Narvi's forehead as she followed her escort quickly.  
Calder turned to Loki, his cold stare meeting Loki's emotionless gaze. He chuckled, grabbing chains that were hanging on his belt, putting them around Loki's wrists.  
"You know, all of this could have been prevented. You wouldn't have to worry about starving to death, falling ill with no medical assistance, or even losing your loved ones to a bidder. All of that wouldn't have even encountered your thoughts if you didn't kill all of those people and betrayed Asgard." He said, Vali looking at his father with wide and innocent eyes.  
"I do not regret what I did." He lied, trying to remain strong for his impressionable son only to get an amused cackle from Calder.  
"Sure, Loki Laufeyson. We'll see how you feel about that when the work becomes more intense." He said, leading the two down a long hallway in the dungeons. Loki paid no attention to the feared stares or hushed whispers as he walked. However, he did manage to cover Vali's ears to block out any horrid remarks from other prisoners.  
Loki had been told that they were beginning construction on another slave house that was going to fit thirty inside, but the blueprints he had taken a look at contradicted what he had been told. It was to be a tiny house, no bigger than Loki's bedroom with no furniture inside, not even cots for some lucky slaves to sleep in. Loki had been disgusted but was silent as he had immediately taken his son's hand and began to help lay down the foundation of the house. He winced as he heard the cracking of whips and screams of terror as he quickly tried his best to put down posts for framework that were similar to the blueprints. Vali had teared up once and a while, noticing the bloodstains on the filthy ground as he turned back to watch his father pull up more posts to keep the house stable. Loki's hands had already begun to blister as they constantly rubbed against the ropes that helped lift up larger pieces of wood, also resulting in nasty rope burns. Loki was never the strongest of Odin's sons so this sort of labor had become quite tiring after a while. He had shrugged it off, though, thinking that he was going to get used to it if he was given enough time. Loki anticipated when it would be time for his group to retire back to their houses or in Loki's case, the dungeons. His father didn't even trust him to be among those who are suffering as much as him if not worse. He had continued to reinforce the framework for the house, trying to gently shush Vali from complaining about something trivial to prevent his son from getting whipped. By the time the sun set, he was dragged back to the cell he had held his family close in. Sigyn was already there, covered in flour. Loki would have laughed if their circumstances weren't so dire, enjoying seeing his wife's physical appearance painted white with something such as flour. Vali ran into his mother's arms, crying and sputtering out sentences in slurred speech, the only thing Sigyn could do was rub his back. When their dinner had come, Loki and Sigyn gave as much as they could to their children, their boys' health coming before their own needs. Loki and Sigyn had watched them sleep that night, relieved that they had survived their first day in this tragic practice. Loki prayed that it would be the same for tomorrow, but something had stuck with him that night. Before he was taken back to the dungeons, Calder had told him that there was an auction coming up in the next four months and his family was going to be up on the stand, possibly going to be bought and separated.


	4. Three Blind Mice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months have passed by and as the winter in Asgard approaches, the workload gets more burdensome. Sigyn is trying to protect her family the best she can as her pregnancy progresses and her needs aren't met. Loki is paid a visit from none other than Sif and the Warriors Three. Looks like the god of mischief is going to have to put on a brave face as he tries to make himself appear stronger than he really is.

Nature had begun to grow angry with Asgard and the coldness of her spirit touched the products of the slaves' hands. The ground had begun to grow dry and cold, their crops not taking a liking to their new conditions, many crops dying before they could be harvested. The howling winds had begun to damage the framework that the carpenter slaves had planted on the ground, slowing the production of buildings and destroying some that had been recently built. Slave patrol had given a larger amount of the weak harvest to the royal family and the food rations for slaves had grown smaller. The slaves working in the cooking department had less to work with and those working in agriculture had become whipped on a daily basis to produce as much as they could from their freezing soil. Loki had become one of the more capable slaves since he was resistant to the cold, but his workload increased which meant that he would be working longer than the others in his line of work. Sigyn had grown quite worried for her husband since he did not come back to the dungeons until way later and he had also been giving a lot of his rations to her and the children. He had grown quite frail, still able to perform his work well, but was able to convince Calder to let Vali go to the dungeons regular time since the cold had a harsher effect on him than his father. Odin had heard of the shortcomings the slaves had made and Frigga had automatically grown worried for Loki's health since she had been told that slaves were being kept up longer and their workloads harsher in order to produce what Asgard's royal family normally got regarding food and building production. Thor, concerned for the sanity of his mother and the safety of his brother, knew he had to check up on him. He couldn't do it directly, believing that his brother would turn the other way and spit curses at him, so he had appointed his dear friends to check on his brother and his family.  
"No," Sif had said sternly despite the desperate expression on Thor's face, not wanting to even go near the god of mischief after all that he had done.  
"Sif, you must understand. Slaves are under so much pain and pressure right now by the patrol. We can only imagine the suffering that Loki's family must be enduring under such harsh conditions! Surely, you should have some goodness in your heart since there are children involved!" He reasoned, taking both of Sif's hands in his own, forcing her to meet his gaze.  
"He brought this upon himself, Thor! When he was sentenced to slavery, we were supposed to forget everything that we had done with him! You cannot just come to him and make sure he is okay! We should not care anymore." She retorted, Thor grabbing her by her face and moving it closer to his.  
"Listen to me and listen well, Sif. I care for my brother deeply and no law or form of imprisonment can stop me from doing that. Loki is a living and breathing person who only wanted to be my equal. Could you not see the desperation in his eyes? He is a broken man, Sif and he needs to be checked on just to let himself know that he is loved. Please, check with the Warriors Three on them. Sigyn and the children are in the dungeons and Loki will be working in the back on another slave house until the sun rises." He said, his voice overwhelmingly full of passion as he let go of the lady warrior, Sif bolting off to find her comrades in order to do what Thor had wished of her. He looked out into the gorgeous night sky that was adorned with stars, the cold breeze almost surrounding Thor in a comforting manner.  
"Please be alright, brother. Let father see that your heart is good and your actions redeemable." He muttered before going off to his chambers, avoiding the door that had been across from him, locked and never to be opened by his brother again.

Sif walked down into the dungeons, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun behind her. It was quiet, sending chills through Fandral's spine as he kept walking beside his friends until they suddenly stopped. Sif felt her heart shatter at the sight before her on the other end of the cell that belonged to Loki and his family. Sigyn's hair had been tied in a messy ponytail that is beyond saving, her clothes tattered and ripped like the ones her children wore. Vali's hands looked to be a bit blistered, his frame so small and scrawny to the point where it was unhealthy and should be given medical attention. Narvi was the same way, but it alarmed Sif that the once boisterous boy had become silenced with just a few months into his sentence. Narvi's hand was resting on Sigyn's stomach, Sif's eyes almost falling out of their sockets when she saw a small bump that was no doubt because of a baby. Sigyn looked up, eyes widening when she spotted the four people she had once considered friends or at least acquaintances in front of her cell.  
"S-Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, H-Hogun! What are you four doing down here?" She asked gently, her two boys looking up and blissful light returning to their eyes, happy to see familiar faces.  
"Thor sent us to check up on you due to such harsh conditions. Y-You're expecting a baby in such conditions?! Surely, the baby won't make it a few months after it is born!" She replied, Sigyn sighing at Sif's remark.  
"Loki and I pray that our baby does, but promise me that you will not tell anyone of what I am about to say." She said, Sif turning to the Warriors Three who nodded and turned back to Sigyn.  
"Loki and I are planning to take the baby and send them away to a place where they can live free and not inherit our slavery sentence. Loki was going to send the baby adrift in a basket in the calm river that flows in the forest to one of the local towns. We would rather take that chance of freedom or death rather than let our future child live this hellish lifestyle." She said, a small gasp escaping Fandral as Sif knelt to Sigyn's sitting form.  
"You would rather risk your child dying than let them live as a slave?" He asked hesitantly, Sigyn nodding with a grim expression painted on her face.  
"This life will no doubt be the death of us. Loki works harder and longer hours because he is the only slave that is resistant to the cold. My boys are having trouble providing little assistance in these jobs. Food rations are low and Loki is slowly starving with the amount of his own supply he gives to me and his kids. I wouldn't even give him another year let alone centuries of slavery. I do not want a child of mine to experience such horrors as soon as they are born. I've seen slave patrol leaders kill babies because of their constant wailing and the need for more food for a family. I do not want to lose a child in this way." She replied, holding her sons just a little bit closer. Sif looked at her friends for a moment before turning to Sigyn once more.  
"We do pray that your plan goes well, Sigyn. Your boys will make it especially if they are anything like you." She said, a small yet empty smile forming on Sigyn's face.  
"Surely, you are here to speak to Loki as well. He is still in the latest site for another slave house. Do speak with him, for he has become very humbled since you last saw him." She said, Sif giving her a small nod, her heart full of grief as she gave Sigyn her best wishes and departed for the slave houses with the Warriors Three following behind. 

Loki had just finished placing the framework for the latest house, the cold winds seeming to make his blistered hands ache even more as he checked to make sure that his work would stay still for the night. He let out a chilled breath, his body tensing up when he heard footsteps behind him.  
"The frame should stay for the night, sir. I made sure to reinforce it better than the last time." He said, his voice hoarse from the lack of water as most of it was given to those in the palace.  
"I have no idea who you believe you are talking to, but I am no 'sir'." Came a witty remark with a voice seeming as sweet as honey compared to the tones Loki had been hearing lately. He hesitantly turned around, long and tangled raven locks covering part of his vision but he was still able to see the gorgeous face of Sif. Volstagg took in a shaky breath, Hogun feeling as if he were about to vomit at the sight of Loki.  
"Loki, what has happened to you?" Fandral asked gently, a weak cough escaping Loki as he turned away for a moment. He had been feeling ill as of late like other slaves in his department, but they paid no mind to it since nobody would ever nurse them back to health if it proved to be something serious.  
"This sentence had done many things to me, Fandral. Though my body may be slowly withering away, my will to live is not." He said, a small wheeze escaping him. Sif came over immediately, stretching out a hand to touch him only for Loki to flinch and move away from her.  
"Loki..." She said gently, Loki shaking his head quickly, the walls he had guarded himself with all of those years ago slowly attempting to build themselves up again.  
"You need medical attention, lad." Hogun said, Loki shaking his head once again, looking up to meet their gaze.  
"I cannot. If I am to die, I am to die doing what I have been instructed to do. It is my job as a slave to the Allfather and I will not take your pity lightly." He retorted, Volstagg taking a step forward, his face still emotionless as Loki had remembered it to be.  
"Your mother and brother are worried for you, Loki. They had sent us to check on you-" He began only for Loki's emerald eyes to turn a blood red at the mention of the two people who took the time to actually love him back when he was a free man.  
"I DO NOT NEED THEIR PITY!" He snapped, his throat being stabbed by the unforgiving winds that encircled the realm. Sif's eyes had reflected sadness as she began to walk away.  
"If you do not care for their concern, then do not expect them to be at your side when you are perishing at the hands of the man you had called father." She said, her tone low as the Warriors Three followed her, leaving Loki to his devices in the cold, dark night.


	5. A Mother's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your illness does not define you. Your strength and courage does."- Unknown
> 
> "You're allowed to scream, you're allowed to cry, but do not give up."- Unknown
> 
> "You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering."- Ernest Hemingway

_**"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world.** _   
_**It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."** _   
_**-Agatha Christie** _

               Frigga never approved of the horrid punishment her husband inflicted on their son. Banishing him to the dungeons is a much simpler punishment than sentencing him to a life of slavery. She knew in her heart that Loki could very well die out in the fields and tried desperately to get Odin to reconsider his decision, but was merely dismissed in response. The thought of her little boy being pained so made her own heart ache. She remembered holding him in her arms for the first time, knowing well that this was her son no matter where he came from. He had accomplished great things as a child and proceeded to do so as an adult, making her heart rejoice. It was such a shame that her husband made him bask in his brother's shadow. When she heard of everything that her youngest child had done, she felt like the most poisonous blade in all nine realms had driven itself straight through her heart. She was in a state of denial, not wanting to believe that her little Loki had done so much harm to people he had never even had a dispute with. Seeing him walk up to Odin's throne in chains made her want to scream and run to him, enveloping him in her arms, but she knew better than to do that. The look of pure horror on his face as he heard that his sons and beloved wife would suffer with him shattered any form of reasoning for Loki's punishment. He had begged that his children would be spared, knowing that they would never be the same. Frigga knew the feeling, oh did she know how it felt to lose a child to harsh punishment. It was the very thing that she was experiencing as she saw her son and his family get chained and hauled away to the dungeons, never to sing of freedom again. Narvi and Vali were absolute angels, never complaining or doing any form of wrongdoing, trying to follow their father's teachings. Loki had raised them well with Sigyn's support, of course. However, she knew Loki's very reasoning for doing so. He wanted to be the father that he never had. He had treated his children equally, appreciating each of their own talents unlike how Odin only favored Thor's methods regarding anything, even if Loki's were better. He even taught his beloved boys the art of which Frigga herself taught him. She could recall seeing Vali and Narvi creating illusions of themselves in the courtyard and Loki watching them from a bench, his gorgeous smile painted on his face. Knowing that those days were gone made Frigga want to throw up. Those boys did not deserve to suffer the hardships that they had been confronted with just because of the mistakes that their father made.   
                When she heard that Thor had sent Sif and the Warriors Three to check on Loki and his family, she almost immediately requested to see them and give her all of the information that they had. She wanted to make sure her son was alive and healthy, though the chances of him being healthy were slim due to the over-exhaustion of slaves because of the winter that had engulfed them all. Frigga waited patiently in her quarters, Odin still off doing his royal duties and also showing Thor more of the jobs he will need to perform once he becomes king. She heard a small knock on the door and opened it, revealing Sif. She looked disturbed and if you looked deeper into her eyes, saddened.   
“My dear Sif, what has become of my son and his family? What makes you so distressed and saddened?” She asked, guiding the girl to her bed and sitting her down, closing the door afterwards.   
“Sigyn is expecting, your majesty. Loki and Sigyn are desperate to find a way for their unborn child to be free. Sigyn told me that once the child is born, Loki will send them adrift in a basket in the river by the carpentry fields. That river is calm most of the time and he prays that it will be enough to get that child into a loving family that lives nearby. Food is running low and Loki is being forced to work long hours as he is the only slave resistant to the cold. Sigyn says that he is growing weaker and weaker as he gives what little food is in his rations to her and the children. She says that she doesn’t think he will make it into the next year let alone be a slave for the rest of his life. When we came across Loki himself, it was like watching a corpse walk and talk. His skin was this deathly pale, like paper and his eyes dull and lacking life. He was freakishly thin, having nothing but skin and bones and his hands were covered in blisters. When he talked, it was like being engulfed in a brisk winter’s breeze, sending chills down my spine at how hoarse and shaky it sounded. He was bleeding in some areas and looked ready to faint, but of course, we were powerless regarding providing medical aid. We told him that you and Thor are worried about him, but he merely said that he did not need your pity.” She explained, every single word feeling like a knife to the chest for Frigga. Her child was starving and possibly critically injured, yet nobody heard his cries for help. She drew in a shaky breath, looking at Sif once more.   
“Thank you, my dear. There is something that I ask of you that nobody but you and the Warriors Three must know.” She spoke, Sif nodding quickly, forgetting the sorrowful happenings that she had just described.   
“Of course, your majesty. We will do anything that you ask of us.” She said firmly, a small smile forming on Frigga’s face.   
“Wonderful. I ask for you to protect that baby when it is born. When Loki releases it into the river, I ask that you take it and bring it to me. I shall care for it while Loki endures his punishment.” She said, Sif’s eyes widening at the order that she has been given.   
“O-Of course, your majesty. I shall inform my comrades very soon.” She replied, Frigga nodding.   
“Very well, my dear. You are dismissed.” She said, Sif getting up and curtsying before leaving her queen to her devices. Frigga felt tears form in her eyes as she imagined the physical and mental pain Loki was going through with his family. The very thought of losing him in such a tragic way made her sick. That night, she vowed to pay him a visit along with her daughter in law and grandchildren.   
The sun rose on Asgard, its light peeking through the windows. After breakfast, Frigga immediately made her way to the kitchens, passing many cooks and slaves alike, her eyes scanning for a particular strawberry blonde woman. Her eyes widened when she saw Sigyn carefully creating a raspberry pie, Narvi right behind her as he clung onto her loosely fitted shirt. She almost broke out into a sprint to greet Sigyn, but maintained her composure and walked over to her.  
“My darling girl Sigyn, what has Odin done to you?” She asked, Sigyn’s head whipping around as her hazel eyes grew glassy with tears. She immediately kneeled before Frigga, gently pulling Narvi down to do the same.   
“My beloved queen, I am sorry for my shortcomings and beg that you have mercy on me and my family.” She said, Frigga pulling her up on her feet and picking up Narvi, holding him gently. Narvi was shaking a bit in her arms, laying his head down on her shoulder, grateful that he could finally lay down on something that wasn’t the cold and hard floors of the dungeons.   
“Don’t be silly, Sigyn. You have done nothing wrong and do not deserve to be living in such harsh conditions. Come with me, we need to have a talk.” She said gently, holding Sigyn’s hand as they walked out of the palace and down one of the many paths that had been made along the courtyard. Sigyn walked beside Frigga, eyes glued to the ground as she took small and shaky steps.   
“I know that you are expecting, my dear. Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will support you. Do not tell Loki, for he will not trust me if I am going by what Sif tells me of his resentment towards me.” She said, Sigyn laying a gentle hand on her stomach which had a small baby bump now.   
“Loki does not resent you, your majesty. He is just in immense pain right now. He feels betrayed by the man he longed to impress for so long and felt as if he were cast aside because he was different. This pain still stays with him to this day. His time with the Chitauri gives him more afflictions as he is plagued by nightmares whenever he gets a moment to rest, which is also quite rare. He has controlled his anxiety, though panic attacks are also quite often, but he tries to keep them discreet to avoid being whipped. He deliberately starves himself to give his children and I a chance to remain healthy as we live through this terrible time. This being said, him saying that he does not want your pity is just him building up more walls to hide his true self from all of you. He does long for your comfort. I know that for a fact.” Sigyn said, looking Frigga dead the eyes, sorrow deep within them.   
“Sigyn, I promise you that I will do what I can to help you and your family. I already want to let you know that I will supply midwives for you when you do go into labor, a luxury that many slave women dream of. I promise this on my very life.” She said, a small smile crawling on Sigyn’s face.   
“I never doubted you, your majesty. I just hope that you can break through to Loki.” She said, sighing softly as her beloved mother in law laid her free hand on her shoulder.   
“Loki will come around. He was a young and loving boy that became twisted because of the horrid and painful trials and secrets he found and underwent.” She said, Sigyn managing a small nod in agreement. It was quite true, as Loki was never really one to cause mass genocide out of pure anger and heartache. He was always a rational person, consulting his wife before he made any important decisions and made sure to represent Asgard well, but now times have changed. All of these secrets coming out and immense pain from his past mistakes corrupt him now without an end in sight.   
“I must go to check on my son, however, I do have something for you. If anyone catches you with it, tell them to see me for any reasoning behind it. She said, reaching into a satchel that Sigyn had no idea she was carrying. Inside were four apples, five biscuits, and two chocolate horses obviously for the boys. Chocolate horses were the greatest gift that the boys have ever received as they never ate sugary items much due to their parents strictly making sure they remained healthy which included their eating habits. They were similar to what mortals called “chocolate bars”, but they were in the shape of horses. Narvi was the child that loved them the most, but chocolate horses also brought Vali bliss when he got them on rare occasions.   
Sigyn stared at what was in the satchel, eyes wide with surprise as she looked up at Frigga, almost ready to cry.   
“N-No, your majesty. There’s no way we could accept these.” Sigyn began, but the Queen of Asgard merely shook her head, handing the satchel to Sigyn.   
“My dear, this was as much as I could get for you. I do hope that this is enough to keep you satisfied before the rations can be increased.” She said, Sigyn pulling her into a tight hug, making sure to be careful not to wake Vali.   
“We appreciate all of the efforts you have made, your majesty. Thank you.” She cried, Frigga gently rubbing her back.   
“No need to thank me, my dear. This is what you deserve after enduring so much for such a long time. Now, I must go visit Loki in the carpentry fields. Go back to the dungeons and rest. If a guard questions you, ask for them to see me for information.” She said, carefully handing her grandson to his mother, kissing his forehead before smiling and departing for the carpentry fields.

             The putrid stench of sweat and blood made some bile rise up in Frigga’s throat. The conditions that carpentry slaves underwent were horrible, yes, but she never expected them to be that horrible. The cracking of the whip made Frigga turn the other direction, trying to block out the cries of agony that followed. The chopping of wood and the sound of saws paring the slabs slaves were given to make it the appropriate size sounded like nails on a chalkboard to her. She saw a group of slaves hoist up the framework for a building, their hands blistered and painted with rope burns. She winced at this, looking around to find her son amongst the suffering workers. That was when she saw him.   
Loki was quickly carving out a door, his fingers slender and full of blisters as he carved the wood precisely. Vali was clinging onto his leg, silently watching his father work, almost as if he were studying Loki’s methods. Sif was correct when she described Loki as a walking corpse, for his shirt seemed to barely keep itself on him as he was so thin where he could wear a smaller size. His usually well-kept raven locks were now tangled and down to his shoulders, draping over his ashen face. The poor boy looked ready to faint any second. Frigga immediately ran to her son, calling for him. Loki’s head whipped over to where he heard his name being called, immediately falling on his knees as his son did the same.   
“I am sorry for my shortcomings!” He blurted out automatically, Frigga kneeling beside him and forcing them both to stand.   
“There is no need to apologize, my son.” She said gently, Loki slowly looking up to meet her gaze, his once lively emerald eyes that were full of mischief now a dull and milky green-blue color. What scared her the most was that his gaze was dead, lacking emotions that used to be so present in them.   
“I’m not your son. I am your servant.” He answered quietly, Frigga shaking her head once more, nothing but pain being seen on her face.   
“That is simply not true, Loki. You are my son and a member of our royal family.” She stated, a petrifying and cold laugh leaving Loki’s mouth, like the coldness of death wrapped itself around Frigga’s waist.   
“Then why do you look at me with such fear? If I am truly your son, you would have told me what I was when you had the chance. You would have cared enough to love me despite my many sins.” He answered, his voice rising as he recounted the very day he found out why he never belonged in Asgard and the pain and horror that followed.   
“You are my son, Loki. I raised you from when you were a baby to when you were a young man. Who taught you your magic? Me. Who was the one that convinced Odin that you deserved to marry Sigyn despite her not being as noble as us? Me. Who always defended you when others attempted to hurt your reputation? Me. Who was the person that you would always run to when you were in any form of pain and longed for comfort? Me. This is the connection a woman has with her child, Loki. You should know that more than anyone else. You are the father of your precious twins and the mother of others that have been wrongfully robbed from you. You are desperate to lessen the pain your children have to go through because of your actions. How do you think I feel, knowing that my son is going to be a slave for the rest of his life and there is not a thing that I can do about it?” She retorted, Loki’s gaze softening at his mother’s words. She was completely right. Everything she had done lately was going towards freeing Loki and his family. She was the one that had tried to beg with Odin, at least wanting him to free Loki’s family if someone really needed to be punished. Frigga had also convinced Calder and bribed him to get Loki and his family off of the auction list with the excuse that Sigyn was pregnant and could not work for a long time afterward. Of course, only Loki knew and he intended to keep it that way. Whenever he was ill or beat up by Thor’s numerous friends, he would always come running to his mother. Who did he think he was, telling his mother off like he was right now?   
Loki took in a shaky breath, trying to push away his blurred vision from the tears that were forming in them, that and he was beginning to feel extremely dizzy. Vali looked up at his father, noticing the blank expression on his face. He exhaled sharply as he began to sway, Vali holding onto his loose tunic tighter than he did before. Frigga quickly grabbed his shoulders just as he began to fall forward, eyes half open. A few slaves looked over in alarm, noticing how slow Loki was breathing. Frigga felt his forehead gently, immediately removing her hand due to how warm he was. This wasn’t good. Frigga quickly summoned a member of the slave patrol.   
“Inform Eir that we are bringing Loki to her healing chambers. Explain to her that he has fallen ill and needs to be diagnosed immediately.” She ordered, quickly hoisting Loki up with the help with another patrol member. Frigga noticed how tightly he was gripping her son and knew that it was due to how inferior he viewed Loki to be.   
“Do not handle my boy in such a harsh manner. He is ill and must be treated with care before he gets worse.” She said sharply, leading them to the healing chambers, Sigyn and Narvi already there. Sigyn gasped at the sight of her husband, being brought to tears as she began to run to him, healers holding her back immediately as she reached out for him. Vali ran over to his brother, hiding behind him automatically as Eir gently laid Loki down and began to check him over. He was not responsive to many of her tests, worrying Frigga even more as she held his hand gently. Finally, Eir turned to Frigga quickly, motioning for some healers to lead her to another bed along with Sigyn and the children.   
“I must check all of you. If this is what I think it is, I must make sure that you did not get it as it is highly contagious.” She said as the healers gently began to run their tests, gathering data gingerly as they showed it to Eir. She sighed and motioned for them to stand back as she faced Frigga.   
“What is the meaning of this, Eir? What is wrong with my son?” She queried, trying to hide the worried tone in her voice.   
“My queen, it appears that your son is ill with a very deadly disease.”   
“Which is?”

  
**“It appears to be the plague that decimated half of the Asgardian population centuries ago.”**


	6. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out."- Unknown
> 
> "Once you choose hope, anything's possible." Christopher Reeve
> 
> "Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose." Lyndon B. Johnson
> 
> Loki is only getting worse and there is no end of his suffering in sight. Will Sigyn beg him to stay or will she let him go?

_**"Grief is the price we pay for love."** _

_**Queen Elizabeth II** _

     Sigyn knew the meaning of love, but she never truly felt it until the very day she laid her eyes on Asgard's youngest prince. She grew up in a loving household, yes, but she constantly dreamed of finding her soulmate: the person she believed that God from above planned for her to love. She met many men in her life and her parents desperately tried to find suitors for their daughter to even find tolerable. They were all men of wealth and muscle, yet she never found any of them attractive. They were all physically gorgeous men, of course, but she found their slow brain activity to be despicable. She was surprised they were even literate. She found brains to be the most attractive feature in a man, not their looks. Beauty means nothing if a person cannot add, subtract, write, read, etc. Sigyn's parents told her that if she did not find a husband soon, they would find the wealthiest of them all and force her to marry him. Sigyn thought that her future with this stranger would be the end of her as she did not wish to become a housewife when she got older, but everything changed one night when her family was invited to Asgard.

    _It was a feast that Odin had hosted, the two princes of Asgard being the main show, but it felt like it was only for Odin's firstborn that the celebrations were held in the first place. She never heard much of the youngest son, many saying he wasn't even worth considering when it came to who would be a better king of Asgard. When she asked about him, people would shake their heads and drop the conversation entirely. It was almost like this boy was a dark cloud that only meant death, destruction, and bad times. She thought that this feast would be a good way for her to see this boy, her curiosity possibly getting the better of her._

_Sigyn walked into the glamorous ballroom of Asgard's palace, nobles dancing left and right to the band's tunes. She walked around for a bit, a bit anxious and not wanting to start any conversations with anyone. She was not a fan of large crowds and tried to escape them as much as possible so feasts always got the better of her. She had been walking around the ballrooms for two hours now, she counted, but that all stopped when she heard someone speak to her._

_"Do you plan on walking around here in melancholic circles for the rest of this dreadful event?" This voice was nothing like she had ever heard before. It was deep and rich, yet you could hear a hint of a childish tone in it. It was warm and inviting despite the mockery she was obviously supposed to receive from his witty comment. She slowly turned around, her eyes scanning the gorgeous figure before her. His eyes were like two polished emeralds, shining with mischief, his midnight black hair slicked back with a few stray strands hanging out here and there. He was a deathly pale, almost like the bright moonlight that flooded in the ballroom through the gigantic windows. He was tall, definitely over six feet tall yet he was lanky and he looked to be wearing green and black in nearly every part of his suit. He had a playful smirk on his face, almost like a troublesome child who had just broken a rule at home or school. He was too beautiful to be real and he literally caused Sigyn to lose her breath. She took in a shaky breath, taking him in once again before chuckling nervously._

_"Well, these parties aren't really my thing. Not a big fan of crowds." She sputtered out, rubbing the back of her neck as the man chuckled._

_"Ah, I see. Being surrounded by great amounts of people can be quite tedious. So much stupidity in one room..." He remarked, an amused laugh leaving the young strawberry blond before him._

_"Precisely! I never thought so many people of great families could be so stupid!" She whispered as a soft chuckle left the man's lips._

_"Perhaps we should go someplace quieter. Come along." He said, offering her his hand, Sigyn slowly taking it as he lead her away from the ballroom. She felt her face heating up as she followed this mysterious yet handsome man to one of the many balconies of the palace. The night was calm and peaceful, a few birds letting out their calls as they flew through the midnight sky. The man stared at the kingdom with a soft smile, clearly fond of the place._

_"You seem quite at peace with Asgard in the nighttime." She said, the man turning to face her, placing his elbows on the railings of the balcony._

_"You can say that. Seeing my kingdom so quiet and unafraid gives me peace of mind." He replied, Sigyn raising an eyebrow. He was most definitely not Odin, yet he still referred to Asgard as his kingdom and he is most definitely not Thor. Thor had muscles and long golden hair, not thin limbs and raven hair. The man seemed to notice her confusion and laughed, his warm smile returning once again._

_"I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Loki, the second son of Odin." He said, his tone darkening at the last bit, almost as if he disliked being Odin's second child. It was understandable, forThor accomplished so much yet nobody even heard of his little brother. Such a thing would make Sigyn bitter too._

_"I don't mind at all! I'm Sigyn, the daughter of Freya." She said, Loki's smile never fading._

_"Ah, Freya...the mistress of love and beauty. It is no doubt you are her child. You are truly a sight to behold, darling." He said, his accent making his flirtatious words even more attractive. Sigyn was truly rendered helpless at this man's many words and there was nothing she could do about it._

_"Is that all you see in me? A beautiful face?" She questioned, Loki shaking his head._

_"Not at all. I can tell that you are a woman of great intelligence." He replied nonchalantly, Sigyn's face reddening as his compliments. They spent the entire night talking the night away, Sigyn becoming more and more intoxicated with this man's love._

_The two sent each other letters nightly, Sigyn being excited with every letter he wrote her. His words were so rich and every sentence she read made her fall more and more in love with him. They met on many occasions, Sigyn feeling safe in his loving embrace whenever they were together. After a few years of their secret relationship, Loki had proposed the idea of marriage to his father. Odin was not pleased and Loki never found out why. Maybe it was because Odin thought Loki was not worthy of a beautiful and intelligent woman such as Sigyn, but it didn't matter because Frigga had convinced her husband to let their little boy marry the woman he loved. When Loki proposed, Sigyn thought she was the queen of all Nine Realms. She was finally getting married to the man of her dreams and nothing could ever stop them from declaring their love ever again._

     Sigyn smiled softly at the memories, every thought of her husband bringing both warm feelings of love and pain. Her husband was currently laying on a bed in the infirmary, his skin paler than the bed sheets and dark circles prominent under his eyes. His breathing was ragged and pained, eyebrows furrowed and sweat causing long strands of his wavy raven hair to stick to his face. His eyes were halfway open and glassy with fever, paining Sigyn even more to see her husband in such a state. He was thinner than he ever was, looking like nothing but skin and bones. He was barely even breathing, Eir's medication being the only thing that was keeping him so relaxed and stable. Heck, Sigyn was only able to be with Loki because Eir managed to get the disease weakened enough to where it wasn't  dangerously contagious anymore. She had prayed for her husband for many nights, the children constantly asking her if their beloved father would hold them in his arms the following day and it hurt for Sigyn to tell them no. He was the harmony to her melody and the Romeo to her Juliet, though she prayed that their love would not end in such tragedy. Eir had told Sigyn that if she wants, she could simply put Loki out of his misery and let the young prince pass away peacefully in his sleep. The idea was horrendous, but not too far fetched. Loki was still suffering despite the virus being reduced. Some days he would stop breathing altogether or fall into cardiac arrest. Thor would be the first to beg his brother to wake up followed by Frigga and Sigyn. Each time, they were lucky Eir was able to save him. Seeing him in so much pain hurt them all so much and Sigyn knew that if she let her beloved go he would be free of pain, but could not handle living in a world without him especially if she sees him every day in the eyes of his children. She held Loki's hand tightly, tears forming in her eyes as a shaky sob leaving her mouth. That was when she began her desperate plea to her husband, something that was always heard around this time of day to her ill lover. She began to speak softly, trying her best to sound strong for her sweet Loki, though they both know she is barely holding one each day:

  
**"Loki...my love...my life. A day doesn't go by if I haven't thought of you. Thor is always at your side, disregarding sleeping and eating just to be reassured that you are still breathing, my love. The children ask about you all the time. They wanted to come, but as always, Eir did not let them because she could not risk the plague spreading even in its weakest form. In their eyes, I see you every time and it hurts so much because it reminds me of what we could lose. I love you so much, Loki. Forever and always. I just need you to be okay so we can be a family again! I love you so much. Please, wake up for me!"**


End file.
